What it's like to be told you're terminally ill.

On being told "it's pretty far along", and the feelings and the thoughts and planning and all the crap that now I have to do. Come along with me if you want. It should be an interesting ride.

IF YOU WANT TO E-MAIL ME: CHEYENNECO@AOL.COM

I'm looking at everything as if I'm seeing it for the last time, which may well be true, and it gives me such appreciation for things I've taken for granted all my life. But looking at things for the last time allows me to see a lot of them for the first time, if that makes any sense.
Tue Jul 21

So the day went from bad to worse, ie: The Transplant

  The people at the Lung Center have rules.  I ran into a situation today where the rules were black and white.  This is the way it is.  Take it or leave it.  I can understand that in a medical situation.  Unfortunately, I usually deal in shades of gray.  I rarely fit with anybody else’s rules, so I have to figure ways to make their rules work with my situation and it usually calls for some flexibility.  I’m scheduled to go in the 4-6 of August for tests to see if I’m physically qualified for a lung transplant.  But they say I have to have somebody drive me home since the last day involves some anasthesia and the heart.  I didn’t have anybody, so I figured I could stay at the hotel there until the next day, and then drive.  Nope.  Rule says you have to have somebody drive you home.  So after spending a lot of time this afternoon and involving four or five people, including my two great doctors there, we may have figured out a solution: They won’t bend their rule, but I may be able to get that part of the testing done in Allentown and have the results sent to the U. of Penn.  So the first call was from somebody who detected there might be a problem, who went to the second person who said yep, that’s a problem, and I called and they said  that’s the way it is, and then my two docs got involved and got it fixed.  Hopefully. 

So I guess I need a chauffeur.  Or a friend with a driver’s license and maybe not a full-time job and where do you find those people?  I was reading in a New York newspaper yesterday about the problem they’re having with Russian and Ukranian women who are paying as much as $30,000 to guys to marry them.  They stay together for two years, the women get a green card, and then they’re probably out of there.  I wonder if they can drive?  For 30-grand they could drive a pretty nice car!

Anyway, my day pretty much sucked.  I did figure out how to load CDs onto my iPod.  Major accomplishment for an old fart. 

Jake, not wanting to be ignored, has figured out how to turn off the computer.  Srsly.  The power button is on top, the computer sits on the floor, so he stands up and puts his paw on the button and poof, time for dad to come play cuz the computer is turned off.

And I heard that the husband of a woman I used to work with in Indiana shot himself last Sunday.  He was a bad drinker, found out he had cancer, but still……  his two teen-age sons will have an awful time with it.